There exist certain rights of passage that a member of Illini ultimate goes through in order to earn the respect of his peers. Wendy’s challenge and a disc of beer are often the passages of choice. Today, however, I asked Chuck to a do a write-up on one of most precious of traditions: chicken fighting. 300 years of brutal tradition have perfected our system for determining how a rookie selects his number. I shall quickly explain the rules for those that are outside of illini ultimate. You must hop one foot and keep one hand on the other one. Then, in a battle royal style, you must knock your opponents out by causing them to loose their balance. From my memory, there have been two fighters that stand out as legends: Chuck and Lamp. Here follows Chuck’s account of the most recent spectacle.
Remember when playgrounds used to be 'dangerous', when gas used to cost $1.20 a gallon, and when chickenfights were about brute force, agility, and quick thinking? Those days seem like ages ago. Now the new playgrounds come equipped with safe rubber mats for padding and special heat-resistant metals, gas is over $3 a gallon, and even the chickenfights have changed.
A chickenfight used to be a real battle, a fight for pride, glory, and choice of jersey number. In the chickenfights that took place last Wednesday, this did not seem to be the case. The strategy was not so much about pulling or pushing or simply dominating opponents, but instead it was more about ripping a hand off of a foot to knock someone out. Most of the players waited around the outside of the ring for the duration of the matches until there were fewer contestants and they were forced to do something. These new strategies called for new rules to be put into place - after enough players were knocked out, the ring had to be reduced to 'half-court' in order to push the players closer together, and later, an MVP was chosen in each match; this MVP was voted on by his peers after the match was over and got to choose his number immediately after the winner. The MVP was not required to have come in second place in the match, he just performed exceptionally well and was voted on by all of the other players. These new rules were put into place to move the matches along more quickly, since they were not going fast enough by the players' own will.
In this disappointing showcase, there were a few highlights. Props go to Rado for winning the first match and beating everyone. Kurt and Mark did very well; both played with integrity and persistence, and often turned out to be one of the finalists in the matches. Austin and McKinley showed impressive agility in a few matches - each had someone try to rip their hand from their foot, but held on and hopped around and somehow regained their balance. We also had a hobo come into the Armory wanting to compete. He said his name was Denis and he was a rookie, so we let him go. He held his own, often coming down to the final two or three in several of the matches.
The future of chickenfights does not look very bright. My hope is that someday people will realize that a good chickenfight is a beautiful thing, one that will bring lasting memories. I've heard legends told of some of the great chickenfighters that came before me, and I will treasure the memory of my own chickenfight for years to come. I'm sure that many of the veterans can attest to how the fights used to be truly glorious. We can only hope that someone will one day come and remind us of the way chickenfights used to be, and help us to change our ways. Maybe they can bring gas prices back down, too.
Special thanks to Walden Nelson, perhaps the most honest and honorable judge in chickenfight history.
2 comments:
need comments for polls....
Chicken fighting was the best when it was straigh 1v1 matchups, or maybe 1v1v1. This meant you had to attack. People couldnt get by hanging out on the sidelines waiting for less participants.
That was the true beauty...
Post a Comment