Island Results

No surprise here. We'd devour Mickey after his first bad joke. But I do want to know why some of you voted for others. Walden, Cole, Pat, Lamp, Lefty, Rado, Kurley, and Chrysler each got one vote. I'm pretty sure Lamp got a vote since he'd be the biggest threat to everyone else. Might as well take him down while the whole team has your back. But Walden?

Seriously, you people better have a damn good explanation.

Holiday Special Delivery #5

Here's a little holiday gift from me to you. Enjoy!

Much thanks to Dave.

Captain's Corner Special Delivery #4

During this time of rest, I thought it would be good to have a article on exactly the opposite: giving 110% on every point. I turned to Dave on this one, since he seems to gain energy throughout a tournament rather than tire. Ultimate tournaments wear out your body more so than any other physical activity. Think about it, you run around for four hours a day, two days in a row, and laying out breaks down your body worse than football. Hopefully Dave's scintillating article will lead to you pain training your opponent up and down the field.

110%

One of the problems many of us have is not playing at our top level of intensity throughout an entire tournament. I think we can improve on this by changing what we do physically and mentally in preparation for and during each tournament. We want to be in our best physical shape for each of these tough strains on our body. The long term preparation for this is hard work that you need to take care of in the gym, armory, or what have you, but there are some easy things we can do in the short term to increase our performance.

• Tourney week
• Eat healthier
• Save the partying for after the tourney
• Sleep well
• Tourney weekend
• Stretch well during warm-ups and at the hotel
• Take care of injuries (icing, wrapping, ibu-profening, etc.)
• Sleep well

The other half of keeping your intensity up is mental. You need to fire yourself up for each point of every game. Think of how much time, effort, and travel you have put into this sport and how good of a team we can be this year if you need extra motivation on the line. It is not realistic that you are expected to be sprinting and working physically 100% of the time, and if you are, either you will tire quickly or are in far better shape than I am. There are several things we can do to cut down the amount of physical work we need to do while still getting the job done efficiently. One easy way to do this is correct positioning. I have a lot to say about positioning, but I will heavily condense it for this article. On defense, you should be directing where your opponent can go based on what defense you are running and where you are relative to the disc. On offense, you should be in a position to have at least two viable cuts available to you, or a smart opponent will shut you down.

Also, You need to know when you can rest and when you have to be very alert and ready to sprint. An easy example of this is when you are guarding a long on the break side. Often in this situation, you can back him on the force side and see the whole field while resting somewhat physically. Another time I ease up a bit is if my opponent is cutting into a clogged area; he is not likely to get the disc here. However, if you are marking their stud long and are sitting in the force lane, you need to be very alert and ready to run, especially if a handler gets power position. Or, if your opponent is about to catch the disc on the break side (especially on the goal line) you have to sprint to cut off the break throw and then put on a good mark. You will learn with experience when you can rest and when you need to be 110%. If you want to quicken this learning process or want to discuss this at all, I’d be happy to share my thoughts and hear yours. Thanks for reading and have a good break!

Captain's Corner Special Delivery #3

I once again went to Joel for this week's Captain's Corner. Mainly cause Dave's article will be a work of genius and he just needs a little more time to polish his masterpiece that will alter the course of Ultimate as we know it. Anyway, I asked Joel to do a "How-To" guide for effective poaching. With ultimate, learning through doing always works best, but here's quick study to help the "doing" look less embarrassing.

I was asked to write a little something on poaching because I have had some luck getting poach d’s during my career. I had a difficult time trying to figure how to explain it, but I decided that poaching can be broken down into 3 categories.

1^st Category

Poaching off handlers to stop an opposition’s set plays. This poaching is different from the other two categories because its intent is not to create d’s; it serves to take away viable throwing lanes. I think this is the easiest poaching to do, and with sideline talking it can effectively stop plays. So, I won’t go into details because most people already understand this strategy. [editor’s note: early in the stall count, step into the lane (force or break). As the stall count gets higher, tighten up on your man to prevent the swing or dump.]

2^nd Category poaching Deep

This is the second easiest poach to execute. The best way to poach deep comes from a weakside long defender. Now it is important to not initially give away your game plan to the opponent. If you let your man know you are poaching, smart teams will beat you with the under. However, if you disguise it, you can then read the thrower and primary cutter to get a d. The faster and quicker you are the closer you can play to your man and still be effective getting the d. I generally stay close to my man and try to tell my teammate that he has help deep so he can play the under. Then when I see the cutter take one step deep, I start sprinting deep. This way I can beat the offensive guy to his spot. Also, it shows my teammate that I am going deep and he can help with my guy under if the thrower decides not to throw the huck.

Another poach deep, happens when you are on the weak side of the field and you see a handler go up-line, then you can start going deep to help the long shot. Most handlers look for a big huck right after an up-line cut, so if you man is on the weak side and you see a handler go up-line, get ready to help deep.

3^rd Category Poaching on ineffective clears

This poach is tough to master because of the high risk of losing your man and the disc being swung. Poaching on ineffective clears is only a good option when the disc is trapped on a sideline. When the disc is in the middle of the field it is a lot easier for the other team to move the disc and exploit your poach.

An ineffective clear occurs when the guy you are guarding does not get the disc on his in cut, so he clears in a jog to the middle of the field or down the trap sideline. If you realize your guy is slowing down after not getting his in-cut you can float in the lane for an extra half second maybe to stop an up-line cut by a handler or another in-cut that is coming in behind you. You can not lose your man though or they have a quick look for a deep shot. [editor’s note: this poach works best if your man clears down the trap sideline. That huck is nearly impossible. We almost want them to throw that.]

I like to glance at the handlers and see if an up-line cut is happening. If that handler just sits there waiting for the swing, then I start to drift towards my man again.

With all of these strategies it is important not to look at the thrower for more than a second. You need to get good idea of what the thrower is doing with just a glance, and then rely on your sideline to help you with the rest.

Poll Results, So Far...

Tigers are better than Lions

Apple Juice is better than Orange Juice

It's called Twist not Swirl

Bet on Red when playing roulette


The team is three for four. Not bad, but seriously, It's called swirl.

Rip’s Rookie Survival Guide

I know that it may be difficult to fathom, but yours truly was once a rookie. Looking back on this experience, there is much that I would have done differently if only some one had taken the time to offer me some advice. Since I am not one to hold a grudge against my misfortune (unless it involves Wisconsin-Whitewash…err… I mean White Water), I shall impart the wisdom I have gained from the school of hard knocks.

When there’s a call on the field and you’re on the sideline, keep your opinion to yourself. I don’t care if you had best perspective. Your complete lack of ultimate smarts and the fact that you just dropped that easy score two points ago undermines any credibility you would have in that situation. Be the silent observer and learn something. Otherwise you’ll mark yourself as future douchebag of the team. Don’t believe me? Ask anybody on the team about a kid we called Pappy.

Ask questions. As vets, we understand that you know absolutely nothing. We love to answer questions. It makes us feel important. Also, we’re more likely to remember your name.

Develop a forehand. I don’t care how embarrassing it is to be out on the quad and have each throw go two feet and blade into the ground. It’s more embarrassing in cut-tos when you throw number 25 into the ground and the team has to start all over again.

Lay out. I hate watching someone run after a disc and then see it land at their feet. Leave the ground, catch the disc, and be a hero. The feeling is awesome, and you’ll earn the respect of everyone on the team. There’s a reason why we all love Pavan. Plus, chicks dig scars.

When a vet says, “Would some rookie please hit Mickey?” Hit Mickey. Believe me; you want to be that guy.

Follow the Chuck rule. A long time ago, back when we still called him Big Red, Charlie came to a party at the 42. He had a good time, a really good time, and he proved himself to be a competitive drinker. Such proof caused him to projectile vomit all over the wall. Hence, every rookie must now carry a trash bag with them at all times when attending an ultimate party.

Now, I’m not saying that these guidelines are a surefire way to get on the A-team, but I think you’ll find your rookie season a lot more enjoyable if you keep these things in mind.

Hibernation? Think Again.

Playing ultimate during the winter break can prove a difficult task. The snow severely limits speed and jumping ability. Cold hands hamper your catching and throwing skills. Laying out may be fun at first, but hypothermia isn’t. You may want to call 9-1-1 when your lips turn blue. But if I can’t play ultimate, what should I do?

Playing and practicing ultimate takes a toll on your body. Six hours of practice and 8 hours of competition a week break down every fiber in your body. After 16 weeks, it’s usually a good idea to allow yourself an extended recovery. I’m not advising complete hibernation, but a 2-3 week break can be the difference between an injury ridden spring and the road to a national championship.

Now, a break doesn’t mean a lapse into a comatose state. It’s a good idea to do a light workout and extended stretching at least 3 times a week. Staying limber is key. This kind of light activity will help your body heal faster than eating taco bell and playing halo until you get back to school. It will also stave off the inevitable soreness of that first crossfit when we get back from break.

I still advise a lot of throwing, and do it outside. Throws always suffer when you take time off. Be better than your competition and keep your skills at their peak. Teach your little brother or sister to play, or reconnect with your mom. It’ll make those long conversations easier to endure. Trust me.

Enjoy your break. We got a fun spring ahead of us. Think about it. Taste it.

Special Delivery #3, For Honor, For Glory, For a Number

There exist certain rights of passage that a member of Illini ultimate goes through in order to earn the respect of his peers. Wendy’s challenge and a disc of beer are often the passages of choice. Today, however, I asked Chuck to a do a write-up on one of most precious of traditions: chicken fighting. 300 years of brutal tradition have perfected our system for determining how a rookie selects his number. I shall quickly explain the rules for those that are outside of illini ultimate. You must hop one foot and keep one hand on the other one. Then, in a battle royal style, you must knock your opponents out by causing them to loose their balance. From my memory, there have been two fighters that stand out as legends: Chuck and Lamp. Here follows Chuck’s account of the most recent spectacle.

Remember when playgrounds used to be 'dangerous', when gas used to cost $1.20 a gallon, and when chickenfights were about brute force, agility, and quick thinking? Those days seem like ages ago. Now the new playgrounds come equipped with safe rubber mats for padding and special heat-resistant metals, gas is over $3 a gallon, and even the chickenfights have changed.

A chickenfight used to be a real battle, a fight for pride, glory, and choice of jersey number. In the chickenfights that took place last Wednesday, this did not seem to be the case. The strategy was not so much about pulling or pushing or simply dominating opponents, but instead it was more about ripping a hand off of a foot to knock someone out. Most of the players waited around the outside of the ring for the duration of the matches until there were fewer contestants and they were forced to do something. These new strategies called for new rules to be put into place - after enough players were knocked out, the ring had to be reduced to 'half-court' in order to push the players closer together, and later, an MVP was chosen in each match; this MVP was voted on by his peers after the match was over and got to choose his number immediately after the winner. The MVP was not required to have come in second place in the match, he just performed exceptionally well and was voted on by all of the other players. These new rules were put into place to move the matches along more quickly, since they were not going fast enough by the players' own will.

In this disappointing showcase, there were a few highlights. Props go to Rado for winning the first match and beating everyone. Kurt and Mark did very well; both played with integrity and persistence, and often turned out to be one of the finalists in the matches. Austin and McKinley showed impressive agility in a few matches - each had someone try to rip their hand from their foot, but held on and hopped around and somehow regained their balance. We also had a hobo come into the Armory wanting to compete. He said his name was Denis and he was a rookie, so we let him go. He held his own, often coming down to the final two or three in several of the matches.

The future of chickenfights does not look very bright. My hope is that someday people will realize that a good chickenfight is a beautiful thing, one that will bring lasting memories. I've heard legends told of some of the great chickenfighters that came before me, and I will treasure the memory of my own chickenfight for years to come. I'm sure that many of the veterans can attest to how the fights used to be truly glorious. We can only hope that someone will one day come and remind us of the way chickenfights used to be, and help us to change our ways. Maybe they can bring gas prices back down, too.

Special thanks to Walden Nelson, perhaps the most honest and honorable judge in chickenfight history.

[blogger's note: here's something special for you: http://youtube.com/watch?v=3RtuktB6z1A]

Captain's Corner Special Delivery #2

This week, I asked Pat to do a piece on field vision. Many of you know that Pat is "our guy" on the offense, and for good reason. His ability to always get open on that first cut (unless i'm guarding him, then it's more like half the time) gets our offensive machine rolling. I have rarely seen Pat make a bad decision. I believe it's because his field vision is bigger than Tom Brady's on Madden 08. So, without further ado:

Field Vision (Travel Vision, Disengage)

The most important aspect of making good decisions with the disc is honing your ability to scan the field quickly. After you catch the disc via the in-cut or a handler dump, you should scan for where our handlers and their defenders are. You want to make sure that when you look to throw upfield, that they don’t poach off in those upfield lanes. Most often when handler defenders are faceguarding or playing our handlers tight, you shouldn’t have anything to worry about. However, we all should be able to recognize when those defenders are playing off and sitting in those lanes. Our decision to swing the disc for yards should be easy. The danger exists when those handler defenders pop out into those upfield lanes at various times in the count. Handler defenders may disguise their poaching intentions by playing slightly off our handlers, all the while really focusing on the man with the disc. When you pivot out, they pop out and look for that d or at least to make you swing it.

What we need to do: Learn to read handler defenders better. For longs, when you catch that-in cut, as you’re turning to look back upfield again, take a peek at the force side handler that is running up the field to catch up with the play. If his defender is face-guarding, you generally don’t have much to worry about. If he looks like he’s paying more attention to you, be wary. Handlers can do the same thing when they catch the dump. Peek at the other handler defenders and try to read how they will play it.

When you are looking to make in-cut throws, again scan the field for where defenders are. I like to look to make sure that I see 3 sets of 2-man groups when I look upfield. If I see groups, that means defenders are playing tighter and paying attention to their man. And they aren’t as likely to look to step into those upfield lanes. If I see individuals out there instead of groups, most likely a defender is helping on another cutter or poaching off you because he doesn’t think you’re a threat. When you see individuals upfield instead of groups, quickly identify which one of your guys is uncovered and who should be guarding him.

Another concept that applies to all throws and reading both handler and long defenders is the ability to envision what will be happening in the next 3-5 seconds. For every throw we make, we should not be thinking about how many steps our guy has at this moment, but rather where him and his defender will be when the disc arrives. Why won’t the gap be the same at this point to? There are at least a couple reasons. First, longs cut at different angles each time. Some are more vertical than others. If a long cuts more horizontally, he may not take the most efficient path to that in-cut throw. You might have to allow for more steps in order to make this throw. On the other hand, if the guys is running straight in, you can allow for less steps, because unless his defender is way faster, it should be a completion. Secondly, you have to know your receiver. One step might be sufficient for some but not others. Getting experience with your teammates should help you make these decisions come game time. Thirdly, longs don’t always time their cuts perfectly. They may be open on a cut, but a handler exchange may be going on. Once the handler gets it, the long could be looking to break hard whereas the thrower is looking to make that completion. Miscommunication can be a big issue. When the long is close to you and slowing up, this is a sign that he’s ready to clear and you need to explore different options. Additionally, you must know what throws you are capable of in these situations. Throwing to the outside shoulder is important for throwing to more horizontal cuts. Throwing with touch is crucial too.

The concept of being able to envision what will happen in the next 3-5 seconds also applies to how you see the space on the field. You should train yourself to read the cuts you see up field in order to determine where the spaces you could possibly throw it to will be. For instance if there is a failed deep cut, your only options for the next 3-5 seconds include force side and break side cuts until that long can drag his defender back in to open up the deep game again. If a long made a huge breakside cut during your ten seconds with the disc, chances are you will not have another look to the breakside. You should concentrate on force side in and deep action until that breakside is opened up, which again is not too likely in the ten seconds you have the disc.

To go along with reading cuts as a thrower, longs need to read the other long cuts in order to determine the best space available to them. We want to throw to those areas with the most space on the field, so we don’t get jammed in a specific portion. The more space you have to get open, the more likely you are to get the disc. And the more space you have to work with, the more separation you will have from your defender for possible subsequent break opportunities. This is just another reason why starting cuts from the force side is bad for our flow. You may be able to get the disc, but you won’t have any opportunities to break after that, because chances are your defender is tighter on you than if you would have started your cut from the middle or breakside. Not to mention it screws up the timing of the other longs who are trying to flow with you.

You should throw hucks in almost every case when your man has at least two steps on his man, preferably three. Before you make that throw, you should scan the field horizontally to make sure your receiver is behind all other defenders, not just his man. Pay particular attention to the breakside, where defenders are looking for the opportunity to poach. Again, looking for groups of two is key in order to make sure there are no poachers for these throws.

There are lot of things to think about here. If you take nothing else from this, just try to train yourself to envision what will be happening not when you release, but rather when it reaches your desired destination.

Sizing Up Your Opponent

In my 2 and a half years of competitive ultimate, I have faced a variety of opponents. More often than not, I have been successful (or at least, I’d like to think), and I feel that others can gain from what I’ve learned. So here are a few things to think about when you’re lining up against the other team.

First thing, know what we’re forcing. Double check it. Even yell out the question as you’re running down the field if you still aren’t sure. Different forces dictate different positioning strategies. But that is more team strategy; whereas, I will focus on a more personal strategy.

Always ask your self two questions:

1. Is my opponent faster than me?

2. Is my opponent smarter than me?

Case 1: You answer no to both

Awesome. The only way you’re getting beat on this point is if you beat yourself. Two strategies can work here. If your opponent is their main cutter, then an “in your shorts” style is appropriate. Completely shutting him down not only demoralizes him, but the whole team gives up when they see you line up against him. If your opponent is a rather lazy cutter, then poaching will work best, but you have to be careful. Seeing a scrub catching a score cause you got caught is not a great feeling.

Case 2: Yes to the first. No to the second.

So he’s a better athlete than you, but he’s as dumb as the words that spew from Mickey’s mouth (Mick, I’m sorry I’m not sorry). Usually, this opponent has one cut, and he’s usually going deep. Take away his best cut. He won’t be used to making other cuts, and you can usually force him into making a mistake. Also, his newfound inability to make effective cuts will throw off the rest of the offense. Use your experience against him. Use your positioning to force him to make a spectacular play. 9 times out of 10, the disc will hit the ground.

Case 3: No to the first. Yes to the second.

You’re a stud, and he’s fat. Don’t take it for granted. He’s just one smart cut away from tooling you all over the field. Not to mention that he probably possesses some sweet throws. Step one: don’t get broken. If he’s a long, take away the in-cut. Play him hard underneath (that’s what she said). You can always catch him going deep. If he’s a handler, do not get beat up line, but you can afford to play him a little tighter. Now, let’s say he does go deep, and the disc goes up. Play the disc, not the man. If you play the man, he’ll out position you almost every time. If you play the disc, then you get in your best position to make the grab, which is probably better than his since you’re more athletic.

Case 4: Yes to both

You’re in for a long point, or a very quick and brutal embarrassment. You usually know you’re in this situation when you see his eyes light up. But do not despair. There’s a still a chance to ease your suffering. Take away the most dangerous threat. Longs, shade deep. Handlers, play the up-line cut hard. Give him only one option to get the disc, cause, let’s face it, he’s going to get the disc. Limit the damage he can do, and trust your teammates to take up the slack. There’s a reason why six other guys are on the line.

Top Ten Things I Think About When Explaining Ultimate to Non-Ultimate Players

10. I should’ve just told them I play soccer.

9. How many times do I have to explain that it’s different then Frisbee golf?

8. No, the game isn’t just for pot heads and hippies.

7. Yes, I am serious. The sport does exist.

6. Please stop staring at my Mohawk.

5. Yes, we are mature enough to call our own fouls.

4. Just cause you’ve never heard of it doesn’t mean you can take that condescending tone.

3. Unless you’re going to teach your son/daughter to play, stop wasting my time.

2. OH MY GOD! They still don’t get it.

1. So this is why ultimate players are good drinkers.

CCC Recap

The last tournament of the semester did not fail to quench the illini’s thirst for competitive ultimate. The day started out chilly, but the weathered soon warmed up. By game time, 60 degrees and calm winds held the promise of a great day.

Vanderbilt gave us our first challenge of the day, and it wasn’t much. The illini coasted to a 13-5 victory. Our depth gave the starters some respite that would come in handy since we still had four more games left against much tougher opponents. Although a few uncharacteristic drops seemed to hint at danger, the illini were eager to test their mettle against UNC.

Neither team expected an easy game, and neither team was disappointed. The illini took half looking like they would break seed on their second game of the day, but it was not to be. Second half intensity dropped ever so slightly, and that was all it took for UNC to mount a comeback. The illini offense let up a few easy breaks, and UNC’s offense didn’t give any quarter. The Illini dropped the second game 14-12, but the clouds had yet to darken the sky. Vengeance was at hand as the illini moved over one field to face Colorado.

Once again, the illini brought their a-game. We took half for the third straight time. If Colorado has one asset that they can reliably fall back on if everything else fails, that asset is height. They tried to force us to play their game of hospital disc after hospital disc, and most ended up in their hands. But the illini held on to be on serve heading into double game point. How sweet it would be to take our vengeance on such an occurrence. But alas, we fell victim to the hammer again. Granted, we did turn it over about 25 yards outside of our end zone, but it just feels cheap when a hammer, a hammer, beats ya.

After lunch break, the illini looked to take down the current undefeated team of our pool: White-Water. We came out rolling. The D got two quick breaks, and Sub Par found themselves on their heals until half-time. But history seemed to repeat itself. Our offense found it very difficult to break the cup that White-Water ran. We watched our lead erode quite quickly. Finally, after a lot of offensive bleeding, Cole was called into the game. The offense scored their next four points and the D-line salvaged just enough to bring it to double game point. We were on D. The pull couldn’t have been prettier. Seriously, I wish every girl I brought home looked that good. Victory seemed to be ours as Joel beat his guy in for a Callahan. But in true White-Water fashion, a foul was called. Three throws later, the illini cause a turn, and score within the next three throws. Our double game point drought ended in sweet vindication.

James Madison provided the Illini with a nice end to the day. A quick victory gave us the chance to stuff ourselves with Chinese Buffet, watch our rose bowl hopes play out just as expected, and get some good rest before Sunday.

The march to ninth place began against Dartmouth. They ran a very small rotation with quite a bit of skill. They gave us a good run, but our good players outnumbered theirs. The long battle ended in an Illini victory.

Davidson was next. They ran a cup. Luckily, the illini learned their lesson from yesterday. Stupca opened up the lines quite a bit, and the rookies got to see what playing on Sunday was like. Oh Rado, you make one of the sickest grabs I’ve ever seen and then drop the very next pass that hits you in stride, in the hands, in the end zone. Can’t win ‘em all kid. The illini won in dominating fashion and moved on to watch NC State close out their game against Minnesota.

Ah, NC State, we always face them. Always. It’s as if some curse has been cast to always bring our fortunes together in the end. There’s been a lot of bad blood between us, but pappy had graduated and so had their number ten. Perhaps a friendly game could played? Now, in the past, NC State generally has played a more physical game than we’re used to. Granted, their style has been a little over the top, but we may have over called some things in the past as well. This time around, we decided to fight fire with fire.

The game was quite fierce. The marks were vicious and few egregious calls were made. Although their was one. I completely tooled my guy on an in cut and got the D. He called a foul. I didn’t even touch him. I guess I hurt his pride. Normally games come down to the wire, but this one was decided in the beginning. NC State got some quick breaks and our defense couldn’t make up the difference. We traded points until they won 15-12. I must make note that number 00 on NC State made one of the sickest grabs I’ve ever seen. Pat had him covered deep and both made an initial play for the disc that caused them both to stumble without getting a had on it. Then, 00 lays out a good 6 yards and over Pat to make the grab just before the disc hit the ground. Granted, he did turn it on the next throw, even I ran over to give some respect to one of the sickest plays I’ve ever seen.

The Illini took tenth with a record of 5 and 3. Sick lay outs were had by Joel, B rad, rip. Lamp, and Pavan. Chuck had a sweet sky that caused soul ja boy to ring out on the fields. Poaches by Bonges, Mickey, and Rado provided some excitement. But criticism could be found in our basics. Catching. Catching. Our inability to haul in the disc consistently hampered our game play. If we got half of those back, we’re playing on the field with an audience on Sunday. Take that as motivation going into the winter break. There’s nothing like playing in the showcase finals, especially if you’re sporting a Mohawk, headband, and eye-black.

Boomland MLC Recap

On a cool November morning, the men of boomland optimistically embarked upon a journey that would change them forever. With hope in their hearts, seven men approached the line…this is their story!

Game 1: In Boomland’s first effort against Truman State, we learned many lessons. Unfortunately, many of those lessons pertained to what not to do. While attempting to ball some bitches, Brett made an unfortunately early exit. At the conclusion of the game, after shaking hands, Boomland left the field with a losing score of 11-1, dejected but not beaten.

Game 2: In a completely strategical move, vets Mclain and Jon O. graciously lost the game to Wash U in an attempt to bide their efforts with game 3 in sight against a potent Wisconsin Eau-Claire. Final score: Wash U. 11 Boomland 1.

Game 3: The daring strategy pays off as Boomland scores 2 total points in the game, theoretically doubling skill and poise on the field of ultimate. Final score: Wisconsin Eau-Claire 11 Boomland 2

Game 4: After an inspiring, Aladdin allusion-filled speech from Mclain, Boomland keeps up with the pimpdags for the first half. Rookies were inspired from the sideline as Halvsies, Talon, Rado, and Austin provided a much-needed morale boost and pointers for how to break the cup. Autographs were given after the game. Fundamentals from practice were evident in a decrease in Boomland drops and mistakes. Highlight of the game:

McLovin to Mclain: “Run”

The Prez proceeds to complete a 60 yard huck past the cup to Mclain leading to a momentum-changing score.

Final Score: Pimpdags 11, Boomland 6 (a score closer than what it seems on paper)

Sunday

Game 5: Despite a poor warm-up performance, Mark steps up and becomes a phenomenal handler. Tom also shows previously unknown Handling skills, and dashing good looks (also previously unknown). Although, SIU decided to recruit some better players from other teams after they started losing, and eventually won the game. This was a moral victory for Boomland. Boomland took half for the first time in the tournament prior to getting frustrated by an SIU cup in the second half. Numerous things were accomplished by many players during this game. Conner proved that he could pull, Tom learned a lot about handling, Kurt finished an amazing greatest started by a Prez layout, C-Lo, previously Chris L., completely dominated a point, catching pretty much every throw, we found out Anthony has a personality, and Peyton completely destroyed the cup, Beauty and the Beast style. In the end, the game was lost, but like a Phoenix, Boomland once again rose from its ashes.

Pimpdags again: serious game turns into most entertaining game ever. i.e. upside down points, gratuitous points, and tall vs. short line. Although Boomland may not have won any games, at least we could take peace in the fact that guy love blossomed.

How to Turn a Long Car Ride into a Great Time

Step one: Mickey cannot be in your car.

I know it may seem funny to experience such absurdity at first. How can one person be so utterly incapable of saying anything productive in a social setting? But believe me, there is a reason why any rookie is allowed to hit him after he opens his mouth (this is an official upa rule, I know because I petitioned for it). Now, you may think that you can get around this step by bringing a muzzle or some sort of other restraining device. I am sorry to say that his mere physical presence is enough to ruin even a two minute car ride.

Step 1a: Walden must be in your car.

As long as Walden is in your car, there exists the possibility to spend the night at his house on the very evening that his neighborhood hosts a block party.

Step Two: Get in a minivan

For a comfortable ride, nothing beats the space that a minivan can provide. Now, I may be biased since I drive one, but few can deny the glorious experience that is having the entire back seat to yourself. The ability to lie down can be the deal breaker in trying to squeeze in those few hours of sleep on a twelve hour drive.

Step Three: Make sure you have a solid music selection

Nothing ruins a car ride like constantly flipping through radio stations, especially when you’re out in the middle of nowhere and your choices are static or static. However, both of these options are better than having to deal with Mickey.

Step Four: Two people in your car must be willing to face off in a Wendy’s challenge (another reason for step 1a)

Eating contests are always fun (except for the people participating). For those who do not know, a Wendy’s Challenge consists of eating ten items off the dollar menu as fast as possible. This step is even better if it involves a cocky rookie (Loski, I hoped you learned your lesson from the apartment crawl, or you’re in for a very painful car ride).

Step Five: Play Botticelli

Rookies, ask a vet about this game. I really don’t want to explain it here. The best time to play is usually after everyone has woken up from their initial nap. Now, some people may disagree with me, but I always think the game is more fun when the person in question may not be a legitimate candidate for the game. Controversy always makes a good story. “Hey, remember that time when you were the Hare from Aesop’s fables?”

Step Six: Boomland Baby! Boomland

Any happenstance that is responsible for the name of a team is worth repeating at every opportunity. Who the hell wouldn’t want a pink, camouflaged hat?