Time to Play Detective

And now, I’ll turn my discussion towards a question that has been on everyone’s mind, “Who was the original mystery blogger?” Before I even knew that the blog existed, Pappy IMed me asking for a preview of glory days. He, like many of you, was convinced that I was the blogger. Many of you still think that I am the mystery blogger, and no matter what I say, you’ll still believe that am responsible for that failed endeavor. Even if the real blogger came forward, you’d probably still be convinced that it was me.

When I first became aware of the blog, I offered my services. I asked for the username and password so that I could become an author. Had the blogger obliged, his creation might still be in existence today. Unfortunately for him, he denied me at first and let his blog go stale with his inability to create new material on a weekly basis. At this point, I decided to start my own blog. Only after I had published the first few posts and announced it on the ultimate listserv, did he reach out and offer me co-authorship. You all know the ending. I rejected his belated offer and went on to create the masterpiece that you are reading today.

The mystery blogger never revealed his identity to me. He did reveal his username and password, which did nothing to betray his true identity. I’ve long since lost the email, but I do remember that his username was something like “illinoisblogger” and the password had pat’s name and number in it. Pat is good, and we all look up to him. His name being the password doesn’t really narrow down the candidates for who could be the blogger.

Our best method is to look at the style of writing and think, “Who talks like that?” or “Who has that type of personality?” I do believe that it is not B rad. I was talking to him on gmail and the blogger at the same time one night, so unless it’s possible to sign into two different accounts on the same computer, he’s not our guy. Also, the blogger wrote a pretty detailed account of club regionals, so he must have been with us in Tulsa. That narrows down the possibilities.

There are two posts that I would like to focus on in particular: the email response post and his last post. In his mailbag post, he is quite funny. He tears that guy apart, pulling no punches. That kind of style reminds me a lot of Denis, but I don’t believe it’s him since he was with machine at regionals and didn’t know us very well at the time. That style also makes me think of B rad. His AUFL blog had almost the exact same style, but I’ve already ruled him out. The post was also very smart. The author took the email apart piece by piece and countered each point with superior arguments. This leads me to believe it’s Jake. Jake, while known as mister positivity, is a clever kid. He’s part of the St. Louis crowd, so you know he can hold his own in a word fight.

The last post on the blog describes an African word for family, or something like that. This feel good post about coming together as a team reinforces my argument that Jake is the mystery blogger. He’s all about family and team togetherness. He’s often the most vocal when it comes to speeches that emphasize team unity. He planned our spring break getaway. He even wrote an email that looked like a blog post before we left for terminus.

All of this is quite speculative and circumstantial, but I’m saying it’s Jake. You can agree or disagree, but present evidence in your comments.

Summer Lovin on Spiking the Disc

It looks like my last post got a few more responses than the first, and, I must say, each one of your comments makes the boomland blog look like a joke. Seriously, Instead of updating his blog, he makes ignorant comments on mine. He and his team of writers have no sense of good writing skills. Hey McLain, you’d better shape up if you ever plan on getting in to law school.

Back in the day, when ultimate was known as “Friendly Disc Game for Lazy Stoners”, spiking the disc didn’t happen. The hippies who played this game thought such an act only led to violence. Hippies hate violence. As the game matured into a real sport, the hippies invited others to play. These new competitors smelled the fresh blood of pacifism and began to wreak devastation on the hippie peace-n-love fest. This ensuing carnage gave birth to the tradition of spiking the disc.

You see, these new competitors were a superior breed to the hippies that had given them the game. Catching the disc in the endzone became so common for these athletes that such a score seemed trivial. These players felt the game wasn’t worth the effort, so they decided to change the rules. In order to score a point, you now had to catch the disc in the endzone, and kill a hippie at the same time. When a young athlete would first accomplish this task, he would spike the disc on the dead hippie’s bloody corpse to signify his coming of age.

As you could imagine, the hippies were none to pleased with this new take on their game. They were dying out quickly and knew they had to stop it before it was too late. They started disguising themselves as athletes. They began to practice, run, and lift weights. They became the first hybrids, players with spirit and skill. Pretty soon, all the athletes thought the hippies were dead (athletes are pretty stupid).

The disguised hippies were pretty smart and began deceiving the athletes in order to bring back the original style of play. They formed the UPA and wrote a rule book. In this sacred book, they instilled the idea of SotG. Any Spike was punishable by death. Pretty soon, all the athletes were dying, since they still spiked the disc to assert their alpha male status. Soon a war broke out between the hippies and athletes. It lasted 2,000 years.

Like I said before, Hippies hate violence and Athletes are really dumb. Eventually, the Athletes forgot what the war was about, and the Hippies just stopped fighting. They signed a treaty known as the First Edition. Now, whenever the UPA publishes a new edition, a hippie and athlete must ratify it.

Choosing to spike the disc depends on the situation and the personalities of the people involved. There is no right or wrong. If you’re taken by the moment, then spike the disc. If Mr. Positivity himself can make the spike look classy (TiV07), then spiking the disc must be acceptable. How and when is up to you.

If you could add one new rule, what would it be?

Part 2 of the Summer Lovin Series

So it seems that only the illustrious boomland blogger has decided to answer my question. I disagree with every bit of disrespect I am able to muster. Tough opponents don’t let themselves get kicked in the face.

What defines a tough opponent? Is it the team that beats you every time? I tend to think “no.” I believe that a tough opponent is one that matches up well against your style of play. You may get the upper hand on one point, but you know that they’re right there with you. But you also know that if they take the lead, a comeback is not out of the question.

When you start a game against such an opponent, you know that it will last thirty points, and you will fight for every point. Such an opponent makes you want to play every point. Such an opponent makes you want to prove that you have what it takes. If this opponent beats you (I emphasize if), he will beat you with hustle not calls. He will match your sportsmanship and elevate your competition.

A lot of opponents come to mind: Florida, Colorado, Michigan… My answer may surprise a few. It may even anger one person in particular. I thought N.C. State was our toughest opponent this year.

Next question: (When) is it appropriate to spike the disc?

Summer Lovin

College ultimate slows significantly in the summer as groups of men who refuse to grow up dominate the news. This hasn’t been a problem for the blog in the past since it didn’t exist last summer, but it also wouldn’t have been problem since the Illini fielded a club team.

This year, the team is too spread out to make a club team work during the summer months. Thanks for giving me nothing to report on guys. Now all I do is sit here with a broken leg, reminiscing the golden days of my writing. Since that only lasted two hours, I’ve decided to unveil a new summer series: “Question and Comment”.

As you probably have guessed, this series involves my questions and your comments. Some questions will be specific to Illini Ultimate, others will relate to the ultimate community at large. It’s kind of like polling you, only now you can add asides that prove your point or ridicule others.

“Which team was our toughest opponent this year?”