How to win the Party

Step one: Steal shit

Step two: Break shit

Step three: DO NOT MAKE ANY FRIENDS

Step four: pull a Noe

At around 10pm, ten of us piled into one van and drove to the MLC party. Located in downtown Jefferson City, Bones (a somewhat classy establishment) hosted the festivities. The streets were practically dead except for all the police officers making sure that everyone was safe (a pretty easy task since there was nobody around).

The bar was located in an alley, which made it quite difficult to find. Upon arrival, we discovered that it was a 21+ party. Cole and I walked in and the other eight kids went home.

Cole and I had a job to do, and we took this responsibility pretty seriously. Unfortunately, the turnout was rather poor and our competition wasn’t much. Also, we didn’t have exclusive rights to the bar, so we had to share the space with quite a few non-ultimate types and plenty of cougars (Troy would have been in heaven).

The night progressed quickly when we started playing flipcup. About 6 Mizzou guys were there along with a few girls from Colorado St, a Michigan guy, a couple guys from Arkansas, and us. Cole and I rolled flipcup like it was nobody’s business. Any team that we were a part of instantly became team domination.

As flipcup progressed, many excursions were taken to the dance floor to throw down thriller and soulja boy. A lot of people left, and eventually it was the three girls, us, and Karl from Arkansas (that kid is crazy). We played for a little while longer, but it was obvious that the party was winding down. We sent Karl down the back steps with a pitcher of beer and we preceded to exit out the front. We still had a lot of tickets left that were worth free beers at the bar. We made the patrons very happy when we gave these away.

Cole mad sure that we were the last ones to leave the bar thus ensuring and Illinois victory, even if it came on a technicality. The six of us chilled in the parking garage next door, taking pulls from the pitcher until Cole decided to finish it and keep the pitcher as our trophy (step one accomplished). Turns out the pitcher had a chip in the bottom of it (step two accomplished).

Karl said he knew of a house a party, and it wasn’t 1am so we hopped in a car driven by sober Max (against Cole’s wishes I might add, and for this I apologize, but hey we were only halfway done with our goals and I’m not a quitter).

The house party was the Arkansas hotel room. We bust in waking up all the rookies (step three accomplished). We drink a lot of their beer and then get Max to drive us home at around 1:30.

“But wait,” you say, “what about step four?”

“Yeah,” the rookie reading this chimes in, “and what the hell is ‘pulling a Noe’”

I was getting to that. Noe is a distinguished graduating member of the Ultimate team (replaced distinguished with Mexican). At last year’s MLC, he threw up in the bar thus ensuring our loss at the party (although, pappy had pretty much lost it for us by then anyway). The bar summarily kicked Noe out. As soon as he walked out the door and girl came up to him and asked him if he had a girlfriend. Considering Noe’s face, I’m surprised she had to ask. Noe said, “no”, and she preceded to make out with him.

One of the girls left with us, so I knew I had step up. I didn’t throw up (lucky for her), so I guess I only pulled half of a Noe, but the kiss ensured that we accomplished step four.