Know Your Papa Bear

How well do you know your Papa Bear? As Illinois begins to flesh out its identity for the 2011 Spring I thought it was a perfect time to get to know some of the “special” characters on the team. I selected 4 people from each class to participate in a tournament style competition to see who knows their teammates the best. The top 8 from this round of 16 will move on. Round one is a quiz about our beloved Papa Bear. You may think you know him…but do you really?

1. How many teams has Papa Bear captained? (Bonus points for naming the teams)

Ryan Kurnik: 2. The C-team freshman year (X Crash) and then the B-team sophomore year (Boomland)

Jake Petit: C-team freshman year and B-team sophomore year =10

Ryan Christensen: 2 The C-team and the B-team =10

Sean Hill: 2. C-Team freshman year and B-Team sophomore year =10

Brian Rathunde: 2. The C-team freshman year and then the B-team sophomore year =10

Preston Goulson: Two: Boomland, and his team back home that I can't remember the name of. I know he has a t-shirt with one of the letters on the back falling off from it... =10+2.5

Brad Bolliger:

Colin Reid: Boomland last year. Dunno the other =10+2.5

Nate Gibbons: 1- C team crazies =5

Brian Pierce: 1 (Boomland [Spring 2010]) =5+2.5

Andy Kilinski: I can only say Papa Bear has captained 2 teams with certainty (those being X-Crash in the spring of 2009 and Boomland in the spring of 2010). He also assist-captained his TBUHT III team this past Thanksgiving Break. He was the captain of hangovers this past summer for Untouchables. I wouldn’t put it past him to have captained various teams, most notably drinking teams and/or Heroes of Newerth teams. He has that natural leader instinct. =10+7

Adam Wright: 2, 2009-Illinois C “Criss Cross Crash”

2010-Illinois B “boomland” =10+4

Jack Rabuck: 2, i was on them both =10

Austin Lien: Illinois C
Illinois B
Rec Soccer: Law 10 (Just a guess, even though Connor Waldoch is listed as captain)
Probably a summer league team, Untouchables?
+1 for lack of knowledge
=
Papa Bear has captained 5 teams =10+1

Joe Sidrys: 2 – Boomland and CrissCrossCrash aka the C-eattle C-hawks =14

Jon Hatcher: Boomland =2.5

2. What is his number? (Bonus points for why)

Ryan Kurnik: 42. It is the answer to life, the universe, and everything.

Jake Petit: 42. It’s the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything (Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy) =10+5

Ryan Christensen: 42 =10

Sean Hill: 42 =10

Brian Rathunde: 42. it’s the answer to the ultimate question of life, the universe and everything =10+5

Preston Goulson: 42: 6x7? =10

Brad Bolliger:

Colin Reid: 42, because it’s the answer to the Ultimate question about life in Hitchhikers Guide to the Universe. =10+5

Nate Gibbons: 42- There are 42 ways he knows how to kill you =10+2

Brian Pierce: 42 (It is the answer to life, the universe, and everything [although no one knows what the

question is] – ‘Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy’) =15

Andy Kilinski: Papa Bear’s number is 42. Is it because he once drank 42 beers in one sitting? I hope to God not. That would kill a man. However, he is a bear, so maybe. I don’t really know the answer to this question, so I’ll simply have to say he likes to feel special with the popular American football audible “Blue 42.” 10+2

Adam Wright: 42, Because it is the answer to ultimate question of life from Hitchhikers guide to the galaxy. =10+5

Jack Rabuck: 42, cuz u (Bruns) let him have it =10

Austin Lien: 42 – Has to be because of Hitchhiker’s / It’s the meaning of life =10+5

Joe Sidrys: 42 – Because it’s Comedy Central in DG =10+1

Jon Hatcher: 42 =10

3. Where is Papa Bear from? (Bonus points for high school)

Ryan Kurnik: Downers Grove, and attended Downers Grove South (Otherwise known as DoGroSo)

Jake Petit: Downers Grove- Downers Grove South High School =10+5

Ryan Christensen: Downers Grove =10

Sean Hill: Downers Grove. Downers Grove South High school =10+5

Brian Rathunde: Downers Grove, Downers Grove south high school =10+5

Preston Goulson: Downers Grove: DGS =15

Brad Bolliger:

Colin Reid: Chicago like everyone else at the U of I. =0

Nate Gibbons: Downers Grove, Downers Grove South High School =10+5

Brian Pierce: -Downers Grove (IL), Downers Grover South High School =10+5

Andy Kilinski: Is this a trick? Papa Bear is clearly a product of Grandma and Grandpa Bear. If we’re talking geographically, he hails from Downers Grove, IL and attended Downers Grove South. I, personally, live a block away from the educational border between DGS and Lemont. How special things could have been. =10+5

Adam Wright: Downers Grove, Illinois

Downers Grove South Class of 2008 =10+5

Jack Rabuck: DGS =5

Austin Lien: Downer’s Grove – Downer’s Grove South =10+5

Joe Sidrys: Downers Grove, DGS =10+5

Jon Hatcher: Downers Grove, IL

Downers Grove South HS =10+5

4. What is his Major? (Bonus points for order in which he changed his majors)

Ryan Kurnik: Progression: Came to college as a math major. Declared undecided until sophomore year when I became a Psychology major. I then picked up Communications as a second major this semester.

Jake Petit: Declared undecided until sophomore year and then Psychology =5+2

Ryan Christensen: Undecided until sophomore year and now he is in Psychology =5+2

Sean Hill: Undecided until sophomore year. Then decided to do Psychology. And now recently a double major with Communication. =10+3

Brian Rathunde: Declared undecided until sophomore year when I became a Psychology major. =5+1

Preston Goulson: Psychology and Communications: picked up a double major in Comm this semester =10+1

Brad Bolliger:

Colin Reid: Mathematics -> Psych -> Psych/Comm =10+4

Nate Gibbons: Speech and sociology major, Two halves make a whole. =(-5)+(-5)+10

Brian Pierce: Psychology/Philosophy =5+(-5)

Andy Kilinski: Papa Bear has done it all as far as his majors. He came to this university with a

Mathematics major (probably because of his history in his high school’s math team. Much like B-Smith, Papa Bear quickly realized he didn’t really like math and wanted to be a Psychology

major. However, in order to not get booted from this campus, he either had to take a math class,

or switch his major to Undecided. After choosing the latter, PBear then pulled a fast one on his

advisors and was officially deemed a Psychology major. Lately, he has picked up a

Communications major to complete the dual degree. This is because he wants to focus on

interpersonal psychology. Or because mac and cheese with hot dogs is so delicious he can’t tell

the real story. Couples counseling, awwaaaaaaaay! =10+8

Adam Wright: Psych/ Communications =10+2

Jack Rabuck: psychology =5

Austin Lien: Undeclared at one point =0+1

Joe Sidrys: Psych =5+1

Jon Hatcher: Psychology =5+1

5. What is his birthdate?

Ryan Kurnik: May 14, 1990

Jake Petit: 5/14/90 =10

Ryan Christensen: May 14, 1990 =10

Sean Hill: May 14, 1990 =10

Brian Rathunde: May 14, 1990 =10

Preston Goulson: I could cheat and look on Facebook, but I won't. And I'm terrible with birthdays. =+5

Brad Bolliger:

Colin Reid: N/A =0

Nate Gibbons: May 14, 1990 =10

Brian Pierce: May 14 (1990) =10

Andy Kilinski: Papa Bear’s birthdate is May 14, 1990. Joe Sidrys and Papa Bear share the same birthday. And I always seem to be around when they remind each other. =10+1

Adam Wright: May 14th, 1990 =10

Jack Rabuck: may 14^th =10

Austin Lien: May 14, 1990 =10

Joe Sidrys: MAY 14, exactly one year before mine. =10

Jon Hatcher: May 14, 1990 =10

6. What is Papa Bear’s FULL real name?

Ryan Kurnik: Ryan Michael Patrick Kurnik

Jake Petit: Ryan Edward Charles Kurnik =0

Ryan Christensen: Ryan Kurnick =-1 misspell

Sean Hill: Ryan Edward Charles Kurnik =0

Brian Rathunde: Ryan Edward Charles Kurnick =-1 misspell

Preston Goulson: Ryan Charles Edward Kurnik. Not really, but I don't know his real middle name(s). =0

Brad Bolliger: Ryan Edward Charles Kurnick

Colin Reid: Ryan Kurnik is what I think I have heard people mistakenly refer to him as. =3

Nate Gibbons: Ryan Edward Charles Kurnik =0

Brian Pierce: Ryan Edward Charles Kurnik =0

Andy Kilinski: Papa Bear’s real full name begins with ‘Ryan’ and ends with ‘Kurnik.’ How he gets there is a mystery, but I can assure you it does not involve ‘Edward’ or ‘Charles.’ =0

Adam Wright: Ryan Patrick Kurnik =9

Jack Rabuck: Ryan papa bear Kurnik =0+5

Austin Lien: Ryan M(ichael?) Kurnik =9

Joe Sidrys: Ryan Michael(?) Kurnik (his middle name is neither Edward nor Charles) =9

Jon Hatcher: Ryan Edward Charles Kurnik =0

7. What is Papa’s favorite color?

Ryan Kurnik: Red

Jake Petit: Turquoise =0

Ryan Christensen: Blue =0

Sean Hill: Green =0

Brian Rathunde: Magenta =0+1

Preston Goulson: Honey? =5

Brad Bolliger:

Colin Reid: Green just because. =0

Nate Gibbons: Macaroni orange =0

Brian Pierce: Green =0

Andy Kilinski: Papa Bear’s favorite color is blue. Although it should probably be red, much like the blood of his enemies. =0…(so close!)

Adam Wright: Green =0

Jack Rabuck: pain =0+5

Austin Lien: Blood =8+2

Joe Sidrys: Blue =0

Jon Hatcher: Blue =0

8. How many Theatrical Plays has Papa Bear been in?

Ryan Kurnik: 2. The freshman play at DoGroSo and the Cannon Theatre Group Production sophomore year.

Jake Petit: 2. Freshman play at Downers Grove South HS and the Production sophomore year. =10

Ryan Christensen: 2 =10

Sean Hill: 2. Freshman play at DoGroSo and The Production sophomore year. =10

Brian Rathunde: 2. The freshman play at DoGroSo and the Productio sophomore year =10

Preston Goulson: Two =10

Brad Bolliger:

Colin Reid: At least one =0

Nate Gibbons: 2 =10

Brian Pierce: 3 =0

Andy Kilinski: Papa Bear wasn’t in drama club in high school. However, he took part in one play whilst in college. More details in the next answer. =0

Adam Wright: Between 3 and 5. Even though I think they’re moronic wastes of time that he could have spent playing more ultimate. =0+2

Jack Rabuck: acted in one, worked behind the stage numerous times =0

Austin Lien: 8 =0

Joe Sidrys: 3 =0

Jon Hatcher: 3 =0

What was the name of the Play Papa Bear participated in during the spring of 2010?

Ryan Kurnik: Journey Journey

Jake Petit: Annie =0

Ryan Christensen: Hail Mary? =0

Sean Hill: The Production =0

Brian Rathunde: N/A =0

Preston Goulson: Something about zombie Shakespeare. Half credit? =2

Brad Bolliger:

Colin Reid: Dunno, it’s the one I referred to above. =0

Nate Gibbons: Romeo and Juliet =0

Brian Pierce: He and She =0

Andy Kilinski: The aforementioned play is titled “Journey Journey” and it is the story of a metal band from Canada travelling to Norway during a zombie apocalypse AS WELL AS the making of the Cannon Theatre Group, as this was their first, and to this date, the only production they have put on. It featured a live performance of a Rammstein cover band. The singer was intense. PBear played the roles of Warren and Kyle. He wore a white I See Stars t-shirt with a robot on it, black jeans, and black high top Converse Chuck Taylors. He stole the show. =10+7

Adam Wright: Papa bear was in a fictitious parody of The twilight series called Twinklight where he played Bella. The plot of this parody is that all of the vampires and werewolfs are after bella because she is the transgender keymaster to the portal back into the nether where they are from. When they cannot trick Bella into opening the portal, they try to seduce her with their charming good looks and promises of living together until eternity. She obliges and then the vampires and werewolfs find out that she is a he and has a penis. At this time they just run with it and have a huge gay/transgender/vampire/werewolf/human orgy. Turns out that this play was more of an erotic pornographic gay orgy play. Disturbing. =0+5

Jack Rabuck: something about nuclear vikings and shit, i was there =0+5

Austin Lien: Through the Looking Glass =0

Joe Sidrys: It had a heavy metal band that played Rammstien, that's all I can remember =4

Jon Hatcher: Journey Journey =10

When Papa Bear goes to sleep at night what does he dream of?

Ryan Kurnik: Usually awkward social situations. I just took a nap and had a dream where I got shot twice and was lying on the ground waiting for the ambulance. It took me a few minutes, but I realized I was being a bitch and just walked it off instead.

Jake Petit: Growing sexy facial hair =1

Ryan Christensen: Ultimate =0

Sean Hill: When Papa Bear goes to bed at night he thinks of his cubs. He thinks of how awesome he is at being papa bear and protecting his cubs. Most of his cubs are on the Frisbee team, but he does have some other cubs that do exist…but they aren’t as important. The dreams consist of great adventures where one of Papa Bears’ cubs gets into some kind of trouble and needs help. Papa Bear ALWAYS comes to the rescue eventually and saves them in some kind of heroic manner. In the most recent dream there was an angry Mamabird that stole one of Papa Bears’ cubs. The Mamabird was going to feed the cub to the young birds. Luckily Papa Bear was much smarter and all around better than the Mamabird and took out Mamabird and all of the young birds without even trying. Basically Papa Bear is unstoppable when it comes to protecting his cubs. =6

Brian Rathunde: Ultimate =0

Preston Goulson: Protecting his cubs =4

Brad Bolliger:

Colin Reid: I feel like he must dream of all his little cubs, but that could be taken the wrong way be some people so let’s say Ultimate (of course). =2

Nate Gibbons: Pickles and Sex =1

Brian Pierce: Giant discs filled with beer and bears =5

Andy Kilinski: This is simple, yet oh so complex. His dreams consist of a utopian society where bears and humans coexist peacefully, yet there is the occasional ex-boyfriend trouble which Papa Bear then needs to go Scott Pilgrim on his ass to win the affection of one Ramona Flowers. “Lady dudes! Tell me what you know about Ramona Flowers.” =7

Adam Wright: Papa Bear dreams of his Dream Man. My "Dream Man" should, first of all be very elaborate and yummy. He should have a physique like Tom Cruise, a profile like Kanye West, and the intelligence of a/an Western Grebe. He must be polite and must always remember to shave my legs, to tip his top hat and to take my purse when crossing the street. He should move haplessly, have a/an institutional voice, and should always dress haplessly. I would also like him to be a/an lamentable dancer, and when we are alone he should whisper little nothings into my ear and hold my feet close to his face. I know a/an fruitcake is hard to find. In fact the only one I can think of is Kevin Bruns. =0+5

(this is a mad libs) im not very creative.

Jack Rabuck: protecting his cubs =3

Austin Lien: Papa Bear doesn’t sleep. He waits. =5

Joe Sidrys: Bathing in natural spring waters with Meryl Streep and sensually rubbing her down with Johnson & Johnson baby shampoo. =8

Jon Hatcher: Honey =3

FINAL STANDINGS

Advancing:

Andy Kilinski-97% (K-Train woo woo!)

Adam-87%

Joe Sidrys-77%

Austin-76% (At least the captains know who you are Papa)

Preston-74.5%

Snacks-74% (Three freshman advancing to the next round?)

Jake-68%

Brian Rathunde-66%

Eliminated:

Jon Hatcher-56.5%

Ryan C.-56%

Nate Gibbons-53%

Jack Rabuck-53% (This is what we call a waste of two years)

Brian Pierce-52.5%

Colin Reid-46.5% (Someone needs to learn how to Facebook stalk)

Brad Bolliger-DQ (Too much Brolliger)

Mean: 66.93

Median:67

Mode:53

Remaining:

1. Freshman-3

2. Seniors, Juniors-2

3. Sophomores-1 (Preston is the last line of defense)